Joel Oleson Has Left the Building–And Good Riddance…

So the news is out, Joel Oleson, perhaps the most famous person in the SharePoint community, is leaving the scene where he’s been performing for the past three years.

Although I’m sure everyone will post kind and gentle greetings, I’d like to say this: Joel, sod off, you selfish piece of horse manure.

Here’s the story so far: Joel worked with Microsoft, switched companies to Quest, and became a SharePoint community superstar, not necessarily in that order. He traveled the world and talked to people, mostly staying in five star hotels, like when he was in Oslo and stayed at the fancy Thon Hotel Astoria.

All fine and dandy, but of course, he wouldn’t be where he is if it hadn’t been for us, the community, and Joel’s audience. So, it’s actually we that made Joel famous, and he himself obviously only rested on the bosom of good fortune.

Now, however, he’s had enough of our fame, and decides to blow us off and focus on himself and his family. Obviously, we’re no longer important to him now that he’s earned his millions and millions of dollars, living in his luxurious Bel Air mansion, and probably buying his wife and kids diamond bracelets worth more than several of the small African countries he’s visited.

So, after we’ve worked so hard to make Joel what he was to us, we’re now left with nothing, and he gets everything we’ve given him. We’ve had to take literally hours away from TV time to come watch your presentations. I mean, I know several people in Oslo who had to travel for up to 30 minutes each way to come see your show. Where’s your gratitude to them? How about all those people who laughed at your jokes, who expressed an interest in what you were saying, and applauded after the presentations, just so you could feel better? There were thousands of people who did that for you, Joel. Thousands.

Where’s your sense of thankfulness, Joel? Isn’t it enough that endured all your lectures around the world, sitting patiently while you enjoyed your passion of talking about SharePoint? Weren’t we good enough? Did we not ask you the right questions? What triggered this selfish act of yours, to start thinking about yourself rather than us? We’re don’t care about your family, we care only for ourselves, and so should you. Care about us, I mean.

We have sacrificed so much, Joel, and now we’re left without even a decent goodbye. I think sacrificing your family is the least you could do for us.

Well, you’re showing your true face now. I hope you enjoy the life of obscene luxury we’ve given you.

.b

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This post was written by who has written 426 posts on Furuknap's SharePoint Corner.

I do SharePoint. When I'm not doing SharePoint, I sleep, and then I dream about SharePoint. Oh, and I dabble a bit in cryptocurrencies (Bitcoin, Litecoin, etc)

37 Responses to “Joel Oleson Has Left the Building–And Good Riddance…”

  1. Matt Bramer
    Twitter: iOnline247
    March 24, 2011 at 11:17 pm #

    Holy shit! Got history?

  2. Bill March 25, 2011 at 7:59 am #

    Serious question… are you 12 years old?

  3. Anonymous March 25, 2011 at 9:08 am #

    don’t be jealous

  4. Osymandus March 25, 2011 at 9:57 am #

    It’s ok bro , time will heal all wounds . His not worth it , all these international jet set IT consultants (espically those Cisco ones i hear ) living the live of decadence, fast wine , loose food (i suppose it depends on the hotels )and fine women. Let it go man , let it go , his not worth it think of the Brunost , will no one think of the Brunost (im starving ) .

  5. Ryan
    Twitter: pentalogic
    March 25, 2011 at 10:15 am #

    Matt, Bill and Anon – read it again, carefully. Clearly tongue in cheek – in Bjorn’s own ‘unique’ style.

  6. JL March 25, 2011 at 11:21 am #

    Wow, so much hate..
    Don’t understand your point, it is Joel’s life, I have respect for his choice.

    • wmholt March 27, 2011 at 7:30 pm #

      Uhhh… Bjorn’s kidding. He’s very much appreciative of all Joel has done. Read it carefully.

  7. Todd March 25, 2011 at 12:25 pm #

    So exactly how long would Joel have to travel around the world to repay you for your “sacrifices” before he could retire? BTW where I am from traveling 30 min is called a morning commute.

  8. Bryan Gulley (aka UXJester) March 25, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

    Bjorn,

    I really hope that this is a work of fiction to be compared with Jonathan Swift’s great satire “A Modest Proposal”. If you are being satirical then hats off and I still respect you as a member of the SP community.

    If not, then what is your malfunction? Is it so wrong for any of us, famous or not, to want to be with our families and enjoy the fruits of our endeavors? Why must Joel continue to ignore the life he has been working for in order for us to thrive as a community? There are other SP “Super Stars” out there and many undiscovered.

    Yes I am disappointed that Joel is bowing out, but I am pretty sure he is not abandoning us. You have to be pretty passionate about SharePoint to be successful in the career field and in the community. That passion just doesn’t up and die.

    To accuse a man of being thankless, and riding on a communities shoulders for success is pretty harsh. Joel didn’t have to share any of his knowledge or do half of what he did for the community to be remotely successful.

    Maybe you should take the time you used to bash Joel for some introspection and leave Joel to enjoy time with his family. Show a guy who has given a lot to this community some respect. We don’t all have to be family-less, bitter, hermits to be meaningful contributors.

  9. Daniel Bugday March 25, 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    wow…)

  10. Daniel Heron March 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm #

    hahaha

  11. Z March 25, 2011 at 3:50 pm #

    Seriously, people. I know that those with a technical leaning are typically socially inept, but the satire in this is so thick you could could bludgeon a small elephant with it.

  12. Concerned Citizen March 25, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

    Note to commenters: please ensure you leave comments only once you understand what you’re reading.

  13. Joel Ward March 25, 2011 at 4:13 pm #

    From one Joel to another, I am not sure what to say. :-)

    Excellent read, no matter how you interpret it.

  14. sharepoinTony
    Twitter: sharepoinTony
    March 25, 2011 at 4:55 pm #

    OK everyone, slow down, take a deep breath and read Ryan’s comment. Then re-read Bjorn’s post. Then think about what he is saying. Now you may comment.
    Hammer me if you like.
    Bjorn has both a style and a sense of humor that are not the norm. He also has a great ability to look at things differently than the masses do, take that and help us learn about ourselves and SharePoint. Keep that in mind when re-reading this farewell post.

  15. Paul S March 25, 2011 at 5:30 pm #

    Great post Bjorne. I know you and Joel both well and know your friendship goes back a long way. I am sure you laughed as much writing the post as I did reading it!

    I think we’ll still see Joel pop up in different spots, perhaps not as much as he revisits family life. He is too passionate about community and helping others to totally disappear.

    Thanks for the great post for a good friend.

    Paul S.

  16. John Anderson March 25, 2011 at 5:41 pm #

    So funny, Bjorn, my hat’s off to you … I only wish I’d written it myself!

    I recently spent the better part of a week traveling with Joel on the Sharing the Point tour of Asia, and would you believe that he now travels with his own team of manservants wherever he goes? I tell you, It’s all champagne flutes, peeled grapes, and rose-petals-at-his-feet with the guy these days. Whatever happened to that once humble pillar of the community that we all used to know and love?

    P.S. Seriously, people? Saying the opposite of that which is demonstrably true for comedic effect … call it irony, call it satire, but for the love of Pete, call it funny as all get-out, take it in the spirit that Bjorn clearly intended, and share the laugh already … I can guarantee you that Joel will!

  17. Anonymous March 25, 2011 at 9:38 pm #

    “We’re don’t care about your family, we care only for ourselves, and so should you. Care about us, I mean.” –> This shows how selfish YOU are. LOL

  18. SPSensai March 26, 2011 at 11:14 am #

    Seriously, can no one take a joke anymore.

    Well done Bjorn. Its sad to see how _serious_ the community has become. Noone can make fun without a beating.

    The community has changed, and not for the better. If we can’t take a joke then its time to check out..

  19. Anonymous March 27, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    Relax people, here’s what bjorn really thinks about joel “leaving” the community:

    http://sharepointmagazine.net/people/the-end-of-an-era-joel-oleson-retires

  20. Freud March 27, 2011 at 2:16 pm #

    Interesting….

  21. sharepointby March 28, 2011 at 6:33 pm #

    Totally agree with the post. But it’s a pity, we just prepared 5-star hotel and pool of shampaign for Joel’s visit of our usergroup in Belarus… and now he’s off. Looks like I will use all the shampaigne myself ;)

  22. Dux March 29, 2011 at 8:31 pm #

    Here’s the kind of 5 star food the likes of Joel Oleson eats:

    The “Manhood”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW_Yk3L6AfU&p=FC28E88FF18F03B1

    Street Kabob

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAREv82eqBY

    Snake Meat

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/innovative-e/5528573672/

    Balut

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/innovative-e/5517547342/

  23. Vijay April 3, 2011 at 9:36 pm #

    SharePoint’s grown so big..it will need ten Joel’s to talk about it. and After a while, there is no point in it.

    All SharePoint and no Play, made Joel a dull boy!

    There’s nothing like family and the pleasures of ordinary life!

    Thanks Joel! Have a great life ahead!

  24. SPGuy.com April 7, 2011 at 9:03 am #

    Family first!

    You can always come back to SharePoint – but cannot retake of your kids growing up.

    I’m sure that he will be back:-)

    Bjørn – I guess Scandinavian irony need explaining ;-)

    Chris – SPGuy.com

  25. fabian williams
    Twitter: fabianwilliams
    April 19, 2011 at 7:41 pm #

    Clearly tounge and cheek! if you know both these guys, you know it is their own unique style. Have fun with it, as they are. Great post!

  26. SharePoint Eric May 2, 2011 at 7:53 pm #

    For heaven’s sake people, grow a sense of humor! Personally I think that Joel’s scribblings are a waste of pixels but that’s a matter of taste and Bjorn is obviously being funny here!

  27. Brian Bedard
    Twitter: tigertoy
    May 3, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

    I liked “A Modest Proposal”.

    This sounded like a good roast from the first paragraph! I was ROTFLMAO the whole time!

    Superb! Fantasic! 4 out of 5 stars!

  28. UXJester May 3, 2011 at 7:50 pm #

    My apologies to anyone that took offense and for my reading too much into the article. I didn’t have prior knowledge of Bjorn and Jole’s friendship and I spoke out of turn thinking that I was defending the reputation of someone we all know doesn’t need defending.

    So, hats of to Bjorn for his satirical article and my apologies again to him personally.

    In my defense I did write a disclamer paragraph that seems to have gone unnoticed :)

  29. Michael May 10, 2011 at 1:47 am #

    I can’t believe people didn’t see the humor in this. I guess only intelligent people have heard of black humor.

    Very nicely written. Book marking your site.

  30. nick August 1, 2011 at 7:44 am #

    When he came to visit us he insisted on only having red smarties in his dressing room.

  31. Hans January 31, 2012 at 10:37 am #

    Dude. Your hilarous!

  32. iboota
    Twitter: iboota
    March 12, 2012 at 12:47 pm #

    some people just dont get tongue-in-cheek :-)

    nice one Bjorn…cheers to Joel!

  33. John Guilbert March 21, 2014 at 1:20 pm #

    This is deep black sarcasm of the highest order………but I like it!

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