So the news is out, Joel Oleson, perhaps the most famous person in the SharePoint community, is leaving the scene where he’s been performing for the past three years.
Although I’m sure everyone will post kind and gentle greetings, I’d like to say this: Joel, sod off, you selfish piece of horse manure.
Here’s the story so far: Joel worked with Microsoft, switched companies to Quest, and became a SharePoint community superstar, not necessarily in that order. He traveled the world and talked to people, mostly staying in five star hotels, like when he was in Oslo and stayed at the fancy Thon Hotel Astoria.
All fine and dandy, but of course, he wouldn’t be where he is if it hadn’t been for us, the community, and Joel’s audience. So, it’s actually we that made Joel famous, and he himself obviously only rested on the bosom of good fortune.
Now, however, he’s had enough of our fame, and decides to blow us off and focus on himself and his family. Obviously, we’re no longer important to him now that he’s earned his millions and millions of dollars, living in his luxurious Bel Air mansion, and probably buying his wife and kids diamond bracelets worth more than several of the small African countries he’s visited.
So, after we’ve worked so hard to make Joel what he was to us, we’re now left with nothing, and he gets everything we’ve given him. We’ve had to take literally hours away from TV time to come watch your presentations. I mean, I know several people in Oslo who had to travel for up to 30 minutes each way to come see your show. Where’s your gratitude to them? How about all those people who laughed at your jokes, who expressed an interest in what you were saying, and applauded after the presentations, just so you could feel better? There were thousands of people who did that for you, Joel. Thousands.
Where’s your sense of thankfulness, Joel? Isn’t it enough that endured all your lectures around the world, sitting patiently while you enjoyed your passion of talking about SharePoint? Weren’t we good enough? Did we not ask you the right questions? What triggered this selfish act of yours, to start thinking about yourself rather than us? We’re don’t care about your family, we care only for ourselves, and so should you. Care about us, I mean.
We have sacrificed so much, Joel, and now we’re left without even a decent goodbye. I think sacrificing your family is the least you could do for us.
Well, you’re showing your true face now. I hope you enjoy the life of obscene luxury we’ve given you.
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